Gladst

What’s this?! A Klingon dish that involves no meat, and is actually vegan?! Insanity. Even if gladst is only a side dish, at least we can be comforted by the knowledge that Klingons do eat their vegetables after all. Gladst is available at the Klingon Restaurant on Deep Space Nine, and certainly seems like a good alternative to all that gagh (DS9: Melora). 

This is essentially a stir fry of mushrooms with some garlic, ginger and chilis for flavour. I have never seen fresh wood fungus but the dried version is easily available at Asian supermarkets. I have added a fair amount of chili to this as I figure Klingons would like it spicy, but you can of course adjust the chili to your liking. This dish can be eaten both with or without sauce; while I enjoyed the addition of the sauce, the mushrooms are equally delicious on their own. 

Replicate your own
(Serves 2 as a main dish or 3-4 as a side dish)

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Stewed bok-rat liver

Surely it is a truth universally acknowledged: that a Klingon warship, with no fresh bok-rat liver aboard, is barely a warship at all - let alone if there is no bloodwine. Such was the case for Jadzia Dax and Worf, when they boarded the IKS Rotarran, under the command of General Martok (DS9: Soldiers of the Empire). Dax brightened the mood considerably by bringing cases of bloodwine aboard, but overall morale was low. Such is the fate of a crew surviving on old bok-rat liver.

Dax was certainly right about the liver: the secret to this recipe is to ensure your liver is fresh. The stew base could be altered depending on what you have to hand - you could easily add some potatoes, for example. This is a great dish for cold winter nights, even if you’re not aboard the Rotarran, and also stores well and is even better the next day.

Replicate your own
(Serves 2-3)

500g lamb’s liver
1 onion, diced
1 tin crushed tomatoes
1 tin cannellini beans (or rehydrate some dried beans)
2 carrots, diced
1 stick celery, diced
2 cloves garlic, diced
150-200g bacon, diced
250g chicken or vegetable stock
5 tablespoons cornflour (corn starch)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
Pinch of cayenne pepper (optional)

In a large saucepan or cast-iron cooking pot suitable for the stove, add the diced bacon and cook gently, so it releases its fat. Once it starts to crisp up, add the diced onion and garlic and cook in the bacon fat. You might need to add a splash of vegetable oil if your bacon wasn’t very fatty.

When the onions start to soften, add the celery and carrots, and cook for a further 5 minutes. Add the chicken stock, tinned tomatoes and cannellini beans, bring to the boil and then reduce to a simmer. Put the lid on the pot and allow it to simmer gently while you prepare the liver.

To prepare the liver, remove any silver membrane or fatty pieces. Slice the liver into thin pieces - a very sharp knife is good for this, because the liver is so fragile.

In a bowl, mix together the cornflour, salt, pepper, paprika and cayenne pepper. Coat the liver pieces in the seasoned flour, tapping them gently to remove any excess.

Add the pieces of liver to the stew, stirring so that most of them are submerged in the liquid. Simmer the liver for about 30 minutes, or until both the liver and vegetables are soft and well incorporated.

Optional: reserve a few of the liver pieces dredged in the seasoned flour, and when the stew is ready, fry them over high heat for about 30 seconds per side. Add these to the top of your stew as a garnish.

Make sure all crew members know the lyrics to The Warrior’s Anthem and be sure to keep morale up, and you will eat many delicious bok-rat liver dishes in the glorious battle-ridden future. 

Broiled Krada legs (seafood combination)

Broiled Krada legs: a Klingon dish which is mentioned but never seen or eaten onscreen. Kira Nerys mentioned she craved some, which leads me to think they are delicious and well worth eating (Deep Space Nine: The Sound of Her Voice). While it is never seen, I have assumed that the Krada is a type of creature, that has enough meat in or on its legs to be eaten. I figured it probably had a shell, so that the Klingons could appropriately rip apart and crunch through the shell before getting at the meat underneath.

I decided to make a variety of seafood parts which could be put together to form a Krada. I used spider crab legs and Moreton Bay bugs to create the creature. I am pretty convinced that Moreton Bay bugs are aliens anyway, so it helped with the dish. This is a simple dish to put together which has the added bonus of spooking anyone not familiar with Klingon food!

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Replicate your own
(Serves 2 as  starter)

2 Moreton Bay bugs
3 or 4 spider crab legs
Small bunch of parsley, chopped fine
4 tablespoons butter at room temperature

Turn your oven broiler (or what I would call the grill - you want top-down heat) so it can heat up while you prepare the seafood. To start, mix your chopped parsley into the butter, and set aside.

Start by cutting apart the spider crab legs (if needed) and place them on a tray covered with aluminum foil. Place them under the broiler for about 3 or 4 minutes, until the shells have turned pink. Flip over and cook on the other side for about 2 minutes. Remove from the grill and set aside.

With a heavy knife, chop the Moreton Bay bugs in half, and prop them up on a baking tray so the meat is facing up. Spread the butter mix over the meat. Put these under the broiler and cook for about 5 minutes, until the meat is firm and the butter has melted in.

Arrange your crab legs and Moreton Bay bugs in a suitably Klingon manner (which now I think about it, probably means chucking randomly on a plate!) and serve.

Notes:

  • If you can’t find Moreton Bay bugs, you could substitute crabs or even lobsters
  • I left the crab legs whole primarily for photographic purposes - you can always split them open before broiling which makes it easier to get the meat out
  • Pre-cooked crab legs would work here too, just heat them up before serving.
  • I served this with a fish ceviche to make a full meal.